Review Comments Of The Great Journey

Evaluation of Writing

Spelling, Punctuation, and Capitalization Errors:

  1. "mimish" → Should likely be "mimic" (unless this is an intentional fantasy creature name).
  2. "Aurualei" → Inconsistent capitalization (sometimes written as "Aurualei", sometimes "aurualei").
  3. "Botie" → Sometimes capitalized, sometimes not.
  4. "Pokim" → Name introduced suddenly without prior mention.
  5. "casted" → Incorrect past tense; should be "cast" (e.g., "Pokim cast a level 3 defensive spell").
  6. "although at first Takko didn't agree" → Missing comma after "although".
  7. "he'll give him 20 gold coins" → Should be "he’d give him" (past tense).
  8. "Reacting quickly, Latno grabbed his spear and casted another spell." → "cast" (not "casted").
  9. "although the spear landed heavy strikes" → "spears" (plural, since multiple spears rained down).
  10. "it merely only gave light wounds" → Redundant ("merely" and "only" mean the same thing).

Areas of Strength:

✅ Engaging Narrative Flow – The story has a strong sense of adventure, with clear action sequences and dialogue that keeps the reader engaged.

Areas for Improvement:

  1. Consistency in Names & Capitalization – Some names (Aurualei, Botie, Pokim) appear inconsistently in terms of capitalization. Fantasy names should remain uniform.
  2. Grammar & Tense Errors – Some verb forms ("casted") and awkward phrasing ("merely only") disrupt readability.

Scoring Breakdown (Weighted):

| Aspect | Weight | Score (0-9) |
|---------------------|-----------|----------------|
| Clarity & Grammar | 40% | 7.5 |
| Vocabulary | 25% | 8.0 |
| Structure | 25% | 7.5 |
| Depth of Thought | 10% | 6.0 |

Overall Score: 7.5

Final Feedback:
A well-structured fantasy adventure with vivid descriptions and strong pacing. Work on consistent grammar, spelling, and capitalization to polish the writing further. Keep up the creativity! 🚀