Review Comments of Report On Boy Who Would Be King
Scoring and Feedback
Spelling, Punctuation, and Capitalization Mistakes:
- "meditation" → Should be capitalized as "Meditations" (book title).
- "emperor Rome" → Should be "emperor of Rome".
- "for example" → Should start with a capital letter ("For example").
- "Rustics" → Should be "Rusticus" (proper name).
- "Gave" → Should be lowercase ("gave") unless starting a sentence.
- "books Rustics" → Missing comma ("books, Rusticus").
- "mum" → While correct in NZ English, in British English, it should be "mum" (no error, but noted for consistency).
Areas of Strength:
✅ Good use of personal examples – You connected the book’s lessons to your own life, which makes your writing engaging.
Areas for Improvement:
- Sentence Structure – Some sentences are too short or awkwardly phrased (e.g., "At first Marcus thought that becoming an emperor was bad but he soon realized that it was a great gift."). Try using more varied sentence structures.
- Grammar & Clarity – Some phrases are unclear (e.g., "my dad told that it wasn't good enough" should be "my dad told me that it wasn't good enough").
Scoring Breakdown (Weighted)
| Aspect | Weight | Score (0-9) |
|-------------------|--------|------------|
| Clarity & Grammar | 40% | 5.5 |
| Vocabulary | 25% | 6.0 |
| Structure | 25% | 5.0 |
| Depth of Thought | 10% | 6.5 |
Overall Score: 5.75
Final Notes:
- Good job making personal connections to the book!
- Work on sentence flow and grammar for clearer writing.
- Keep reading to improve vocabulary and structure!
Next Steps:
✔ Proofread for missing words & punctuation.
✔ Try combining short sentences for smoother reading.
Overall Score:5.75 by deepseek-chat